Sometimes love, communication and intimacy is not what we thought is was and a review is necessary, this is always a great place for new ways of communication, connecting and being with those we care deeply for.

Conflict can be a natural response when two or more people come together to make decisions for the whole and it is the working through the conflict that strengthens our bonds with each other.
For example when a couple have a baby if they have never discussed parenting, beliefs and values for that child they will experience conflict until a workable solution is found for the good of the child as well as each parent.

Conflict is better to be entered into with a set of “engagement rules” if you like and you can establish what they are between the persons involved.
This can include:

1.time out – take a break when things are getting too heated
2.make an agreement to disagree
3.acknowledge what issues, topics are “hot spots” for each of you
4.agree to tread gently when these types of topics arise in the future. something different, e.g if A always leads to B, then try C first and you will have a different perspective.

Over time your “rules of engagement” will become clearer and a more workable way of relating becomes available.

Conflict does not make it ok to become abusive in any way shape or form, in fact abuse often compounds the issue and builds resentment whether it is expressed or not at the time. Once resentment deepens forgiveness and compromise become even more elusive. So if it’s necessary to pass through conflict ( notice i said pass through!) to reach and end goal in your relationship fight fair.

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